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Truth + Passion = Purpose

Truth + Passion = Purpose

This is a  simple yet powerful visualization and inquiry process with the intention of getting you more connected with your own personal truths, passions and purpose. As we begin I encourage you to empty your cup and approach this experience with a beginners mind. A woman never dips her toe in the same river twice: for the river changes, and so has the woman.

 

 Make yourself comfortable. Find a seated position you can be still in for about 5 minutes. Begin thinking about your own truths: These are universal states of being.  For example… A few of my personal truths are: connection, love, joy and meaning.
• Gently close your eyes and take a deep breath
• Count silently backwards from 7 continuing to breathe deeply and slowly
• Imagine you are traveling through space, silently observing the universe in all its magnificent, bold and unapologetic beauty
• Notice the vast galaxies; awe inspiring nebulas and millions of stars and planets all around you
• You see a tiny spark off in the distance and are compelled to move towards it
• The spark grows more beautiful and more familiar as you draw nearer and nearer
• As you continue to approach this magnificent star its warmth engulfs you like an embrace and you feel as though you have come home
• You become aware that this brilliant star is You. It is your pure essence, your soul… Free from human form, free from judgment, and free from your story. This star is the truth of who you are
• Silently place one hand on your heart and invite this star that is you to tell you about who you truly are. Be willing to be patient and hold this space for yourself. Trust that the message you receive is the perfect message
• Thank your higher self for providing the answers and guidance you seek
• Gently open your eyes and begin to write down your list of truths
• Examine your list of truths and circle the 3 you feel resonate the deepest to the core of who you are.

 

Next, begin thinking about your passions: These are states of doing that bring you immense joy. A few of my passions are: Community, Nature, Music and Hugs.

  • -Close your eyes and look around your life here on this planet, today.
    Bring to mind all of the things you are passionate about. See yourself engaging in these activities. What do you notice about yourself?
  • -What intrigues and excites you? (Rings all your bells, honks all your horns, bangs all your gongs?
  • -What frightens or intimidates you but are still drawn to?
  • -Gently open your eyes and silently write down your list of passions. Be as specific or as broad as you like
  • -Examine your list of passions and circle the one you are most interested in expanding over the coming year

 

Truth + Passion = an authentic expression of purpose. There is no limit to the possibilities that exist to express ones purpose. Step with me into the realm of possibilities and let yourself dream really big.
• What is possible when you combine your truths with your #1 passion? What might this create for you?
• Make a list of three bold possibilities. Commit to really show up for yourself and play full out with these!

 

For example: Connection, Creativity, Joy + Music, Nature = Me creating a music camp to spread joy and meaning through the creative process, set in nature as a shared community experience.
• Read your truths, passion and possibilities aloud while gazing into your own eyes in the mirror with a big ass smile on your face
• Choose one and identify three actions steps you can take in the next month towards this outcome
• Read your actions items aloud while gazing into your own eyes in the mirror with a big ass smile on your face

What did you discover about yourself? 

What part of this exercise was the most valuable to you? 

Share your finding and gems in the comments below…

xo-kt!

On Being “NO” Before We Can Be “YES” (Part 3 of 3)

On Being “NO” Before We Can Be “YES” (Part 3 of 3)

How often do you say “NO”?

How often does your mouth say, “YES” when everything in you is screaming “NO” ?

Sometimes, saying “NO” is one of the scariest things in the world for some people, myself included. After all, it isn’t just a word; it is a command loaded with thousands of year’s worth of meaning. Many of us had “NO” fired at us relentlessly as children (by loved ones no less) and it was in no way accepted for us to fire it back.

We have built “NO” up to be a symbol of defiance, a signifier of separation and rebellion. It is time to take “NO” back in the service of balance and give it the respect and gratitude it deserves.

“NO” is first how we individuate, and later, how we navigate. If we were to suppose for a moment that “NO” signifies left and “YES” signifies right then all No’s or all Yes’s would always result in going in circles: Both are required to navigate the road map of life. Yet, if we have been YES, YES, YES without distinction for many years it may take a period of NO, NO, NO to right the course.

A time of “NO” may be a powerful tool in resetting our internal truth compass and stopping the patterns of self-betrayal. It is important to recognize that “NO” just like any other word, has the meaning that we give it and in order for that meaning to change we must be willing to see it as neutral. So, without further adieu:

 

You are invited to a full day of NO!

(or a week! or a month!)

 

There is only one rule:

Your NO’s MUST be genuine and “for self”, never against others.

Be sure to check your intention: if the “NO” you are about to deliver is meant to try and influence the way that another person feels or thinks bring it back to you and how you want to feel and what you want to experience. Let this guide you.

 

Give it a whirl and in the comments below share:

What do you notice?

How do you feel?

How do you feel now about YES?

What else do you want to say?

 

Pssssst: A “NO” for self is always a “YES” to self!

Why we Can’t and How we Can (Part 2 of 3)

Why we Can’t and How we Can (Part 2 of 3)

There is a lot going on in everyday life. More than we are often willing to admit. Every moment of every day and in every situation we bring a myriad of emotions, feelings, beliefs, judgments, defense mechanisms, learned behaviors, coping mechanisms, unspoken and spoken expectations… the list goes on. It is a delicate balancing act that our conscious minds, egos and bodies play to keep it all in check while attempting to represent us as who we have come to believe we are (as defined by what we believe other perceive us as). There is a lot going on…

When this balance is disrupted and we lose our grasp of the controls, we often feel possessed and powerless as one or more of these things bubbles up and takes us over.

How many times have you found yourself crying and blubbering out the words, “I don’t even know what I am crying about!” or feeling extreme resentment towards someone when really they haven’t done anything out of the ordinary.

In these situations where it all comes crashing down around us there is always a common thread. The thread is that of neglecting to hear, see, feel or notice that somewhere along the line we have betrayed ourselves.

We betray ourselves in lots of very big ways, very little ways and plenty of other ways in between:

It is a betrayal of self when we do not speak our truth for fear of upsetting someone else.

It is a betrayal of self when we do not take care of our bodies.

It is a betrayal of self when we do something we really don’t want to do.

It is a betrayal of self when we judge others and ourselves.

It is a betrayal of self when we forget the truth of who we are: souls with an ego mind and a body, and not the other way around.

Now betraying yourself isn’t the end of the world we all do it constantly, like on a minute-to-minute basis. The key lies in cultivating the practice of getting out of the story that surrounds the incident enough to acknowledging that it is the act of not being true to ourselves that is the real source of our suffering. This awareness opens the door that gives us back the power to choose differently.

To be continued in part 3: The Importance of being “NO” before we can be “YES”

It is OK to Let it in… and Why We Can’t  (Part 1 of 3)

It is OK to Let it in… and Why We Can’t (Part 1 of 3)

Why don’t compliments always feel great?

We won’t let them in because we don’t intrinsically believe them to be true. It feels like a lie, which reinforces that we are imposters and frauds. Maybe it feels like a trick and we get wrapped up in the belief that the more we trick others the further down the rabbit hole of lies we’ve gone. We are afraid to let the good in because what would that mean? It would mean we are lovable, worthy and innocent and none of those feel all that familiar, at least not on a deeply subconscious or cellular level.

Much of our self-love and self-acceptance is rigidly conditional. I’ll love myself when or I’ll love myself if. We make little deals with ourselves constantly and when we can’t live up to the expectations we’ve set we fall out of belonging with ourselves. Now some might say that this is how we adapt but I am inclined to think that if the thinking that created the problem doesn’t change then the results, though they may vary, will never truly shift and evolve.

So how do we change the core beliefs that we must hide in fear, skepticism, and denial into beliefs that acknowledge our true loving and innocent nature? Very gently…

To be continued in Part 2: Why we Can’t and How we Can

On Joy and Sorrow

On Joy and Sorrow
Kahlil Gibran

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, “Joy is greater thar sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

Self Love is…

Self Love is…

Self Love is Irresistible. When we love ourselves others will reflect this back to us. When we do not pine for love from the outside but rather give it to ourselves, this opens us up to be able to receive love from others as they give it, not as we expect it.

What does Self Love look like for you?

For me it is taking risks and staying the course of my dreams. It is taking care of myself and honouring my truth.

Share your Self Love in the comments below!

XO-KT

”Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

Fear of Heights

A Life Changing Invitation from James Hollis

This past spring I had the honour of seeing James Hollis speak live in Vancouver, Canada. Hollis holds a very special place in my heart. It was many of these enclosed notions that inspired me to shift my own life and will continue to guide me for the rest of my life. This week, allow me to impart some of his wisdom onward to you.  The following is a list he offered of 21 ways to navigate the second half of life more consciously. I personally think these are applicable at any phase of life… Enjoy!  XO-kt

21 Ways to Navigate Life More Consciously

1. THE CHOICE IS YOURS: Realize that your life is something you choose every day, wether you are paying attention or not.  And that NOW is the time to pay attention. Did I show up today? In service to what values?

2. ITS TIME TO GROW UP: Grow Up. Growing up means that we truly take responsibility for our lives, for how they are turning out, and stop expecting others to make those decisions for us. This means being accountable.

3. LET GO OF THE OLD: Pay attention to how much of your daily behaviour is in service to old anxiety management systems that, once necessary, now blind you to a disempowering past.

4. RECOVER PERSONAL AUTHORITY: What is true for you, really, and now find the courage to live that truth. Connect with instinct.

5. SEEK TO MAKE AMENDS: Ask others where you have injured them, where they see you limiting yourself, and vow to change behaviours.

6. STEP OUT FROM UNDER THE PARENTAL SHADE: Consider where you are still carrying, or compensating for, the un-lived life of your mother, the un-lived life of your father.

7. VOW TO GET UNSTUCK: Reflect on where you are stuck, and what old fear is keeping you stuck.

8. COME BACK TO YOUR TASK: Identify what task you need to address, the flight from which will diminish your life. We are not here to please or take care of others. We are accountable to our own souls: always choose enlargement. 

9. CHOOSE THE PATH OF ENLARGEMENT: Ask of any important life choice, relationship, commitment: does this path enlarge or diminish me – act on your conclusion. Keep asking until it reveals itself…

10. WHAT GIFT HAVE YOU BEEN WITHHOLDING FROM THE WORLD?: What wishes to come into this world through you, and only your fears keep you from serving it?

11. SEE THE OLD SELF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS: Notice the patterns that keep showing up in your intimate relationships, and from whence do they arise in your history? Are they in service to protection, avoidance and self-sabotage? 

12: WHAT IS THE BIGGER PICTURE FOR YOU?: Where do you stand in relationship to what is larger than you, that which asks more of you? A summons to the larger, the goals that intimidate us.  

13: CHOOSE MEANING OVER HAPPINESS: A life of happiness is transient: the search for meaning is life long. Happiness is addictive and diminishing, Meaning is satisfying.

14: HONOR, FINALLY, WHAT YOU LEFT BEHIND: What parts of yourself did you leave behind, perhaps necessarily then, but which cry out for your recovery of them, for your honoring of them?

15: EXERCISE THE GHOSTS OF THE PAST WHICH BIND YOU: What old guilts or shames inhibit you today, and how can you grow larger than their inhibiting powers? Powers of cultural expectations, servitude and slavery. 

16. FREE YOUR CHILDREN FROM YOU: Free your children of your own un-lived life, your expectations that they ratify your values, and release them as you wished release from the expectations of your parents. Pass this freedom on to the next generation. Be mindful of the effect of your behaviours on others, and be sure to live your own truth.

17: BESTOW LOVE ON THE UNLOVEABLE PARTS OF YOU: Accept the fact that we all are flawed, which does not mean that we are not worthy of love, of respect, and of the power to redo our lives.

18. HONOR THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DUTY AND CALLING: Know the difference between work and vocation, that one is duty and one is calling, and that in the end a calling is more important than anything.

19. EXPLORE WHAT ONCE MOVED YOU MOST: What fired your imagination in the past, aroused your curiosity and passion? Those energies are still there, waiting for release and affirmation.

20. SEIZE PERMISSION TO BE WHO YOU REALLY ARE: Where are you still looking for permission to live your life, and who do you think will give it to you today?

21. LIVE THE EXAMINED LIFE, LIVE THE QUESTIONS NOT THE ANSWERS: Keep asking “what matters most,” lest you be living someone else’s life, or simply staying on automatic pilot.

Dr. James Hollis is a Jungian Analyst in private practice, based in Washington, DC.

Author of 14 books including Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life, What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life and Hauntings: Dispelling the Ghosts Who Run Our Lives.

Vocation: A Battle of Heart and Mind

Vocation: A Battle of Heart and Mind

You’ve GOT it! It came to you in a dream, or maybe at the end of a book, better yet while spacing out in a float tank… You can’t believe it didn’t occur to you before. It’s been sitting right under your nose all this time, just as plain as day! You start telling everyone you know, you get SO amped up when you talk about it, your voice gets quicker and higher, you possibly even squeal (if you are me), and you daydream about the future you who is a monumental success because…

 

You have connected to your LIFE PURPOSE, the DREAM you’ve been tirelessly searching for… your VOCATIONThat which you were put here on this planet to do!

 

Maybe your vocation comes in the form of a career or a passion project, maybe something completely different. Regardless, it has revealed itself and now all you have to do is take the necessary steps to make it a reality. That won’t be hard because you have your passion to keep you company and the knowledge that this task is your destiny! The End…

 

Not so fast… You start taking steps towards this existence and it’s not really coming along the way you’d hoped. It is possible you find the process tedious and are having hypercritical thoughts. Perhaps loved ones don’t seem to be supporting your new direction. This is not the way you dreamt it and now you’re beginning to wonder if your so-called vocation is anything more than the latest whim in a long line of failed attempts. That feels like a really frightening possibility because the implication is that you may not be in tune with your inner truth and that the ego mind is taking the wheel yet again, and so on, and on, and on, and on…

 

Sound Familiar?

I can guarantee that anyone with a dream has experienced some form of doubt and despair along their path.

 

Lets take a step back and examine a series of powerful questions that support a dream to unfold.

 

Have you checked your intention? What is it that truly draws you to this dream? How does this dream support your development to be your best self? Behind every decision we make is an intention and that intention is set by us, knowingly or subconsciously. Ensure the intention you have set to support you in growing your dreams is authentic and sincere for you. Intentions that bring positive results are always for self and never against other. Find your intention and if you don’t have one, set one that supports you. It will serve as a personal mission statement that helps you stay the course as you build your dream up!

 

If you were to have clarity, what would that mean for you? Give yourself the gift of exploration. Get all up in your dream and really see what it looks like. Imagine your dream is a mansion you have bought and will be moving into next year. Take a vacation there right now for a month. Really immerse yourself by exploring every nook and cranny, look in every cupboard, hang out in the crawl space, hide under the stairs, admire the ornate details; know it inside and out. The clearer you are willing to get on what you want, the more powerfully you can connect to your dream and manifest it into being.

 

How might you be flexible (and supportable)? As your dream gets clearer and comes into focus it might shift, change or grow. By being flexible and willing to embark on the evolutionary journey, you set yourself up for success. Consider that this dream might just be the tip of a magical iceberg! As you begin to let your dreams into your life and give them permission to take flight, you give them the support they need to grow into something great beyond your wildest dreams. Regardless if your vocation changes and grows so much that it looks nothing like it did originally, it was still that original vision that got the ball rolling in the first place. It was the catalyst that began the whole priceless process, and you can thank it.

 

Be gentle with yourself! – Adaptation comes through taking risks and over coming adversity. If we don’t learn from our experiences, the lessons will reinvent themselves over and over until we get the memo! Learning requires judgment free reflection. Even if this sounds uncomfortable to you, try it. Next time you have a really big judgment on yourself I invite you to just LET IT GO. See how that feels and notice that it was the thought that gave you the stress. Thats right, thoughts are what cause stress, if you don’t believe me google it! 😉

 

Following your dream might not be easy or straightforward at the best of times but it is always worth it! You have to start somewhere and the sooner you start the sooner you get to where you are going, it’s just basic math!

 

Now I would love to hear from you!

 

In the comments below, share a personal dream, passion or vocation. Choose the first thing that pops into your head. Walk it through the 3 questions above. What do you notice? What has shifted? What’s next for you?

 

xo-kt

Commitment

Commitment

oh hai…

 

this is my little tiny voice…

it’s the voice of someone who’s not really sure what they are doing, what they want, what they like or what matters to them…

so they get stuck in this little dance in the dark and unwittingly choose to do nothing in the place of anything at all…

 

Sound familiar?

Well it certainly does to me right now because that has precisely been the story of this blog so far. It’s not a lack of ideas or content that keeps me from writing. NOPE.

 

It’s a straight up lack of commitment.

So it is commitment that I want to talk about here in my first blog post of three months and how it is relevant to everything we desire more of.

You might be curious as to why commitment is significant. We humans are at the mercy of our thoughts and the resulting emotions that come from these thoughts, especially when they are unconscious. Often we neglect to acknowledge the power our thoughts have. Every thought is a choice. When we choose to think a thought that commits it automatically creates an energetic, physical and emotional pull. This pull puts us in alignment and draws us closer to that which we are committed to.

Commitment opens doors, builds bridges and lights fires, all in an instant!

 

Great you’re thinking, so it’s only a thought away but how do I do it exactly. Simple: you sent an intention…. A big beautiful intention! Make that intention as big and bold as you can stand it and then make it 100 times bolder because you deserve it. Once you’ve tweaked that intention and got it just right, just the way you like it and just as perfect as you can imagine it… you go and get rid of it!

 

Yep, that’s right… It’s called surrender. When you surrender something you release it and free it from the subconscious restrictions you don’t even know you’ve placed on it. By surrendering you give your beautiful intention permission to be so much more than your wildest dreams come true. You create space for the magic of life to unfold right in front of your eyes and, you give it permission to blow your mind wide open in the process. Remember, surrender is never about forgetting or loosing touch with your commitment. It is an agreement to allow the form and outcome of our intention to be set free and bloom exponentially into the wild unknown.

 

Ok folks, there you have it: That is how you commit. 

This is how I will commit to my love of writing and to nurturing my self-development as a coach:

I commit to contributing to my blog once a week.

 

P.S. Each time we make a decision to commit we also get to be right about something. In my case I get to be right about that fact that I deserve to have a sacred space to share my ideas with others and that they are worthy of being heard.

 

Now I’m curious to hear from you… What will you commit to and by doing so what do you get to be right about?

Please share your commitment in the feed below <3

xo-kt

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